There’s always a better.
Is ‘good enough‘ ever good enough?
Not only do my parents want the best for me, they want the better. Well, guess what? There’s always a better. Even though I try my best, it’s never quite good enough. Even though I do good, I could always do BETTER.There’s always a better… and I can never seem to get there. I can do ‘good enough’, but that’s never good enough for my parents.
I try! … But sometimes I just want to stop trying.
Beth!
I’m sorry you feel this way.Don’t stop trying cuz your awesome and can do stuff i can’t do like making cool websites. The snow is putting everyone in a gloomy mood but things will get brighter.
aw yes baby girl, there is always a better- it’s striving within your own spirit for the best for you! Ah all parents have the dream of something “better” for their children, less stress, less troubles, less “issues”, more of we lacked when we were young, less mistakes so that things can be “BETTER” – alas we cannot sugar coat “life” for our kids- it has to happen for them as it is- that is why we WISH for the “better” for our children. I hope you can deal with this dream however difficult the reality is- and not be angry at parents that want not just the best but better for you than what they had- troubles and all. We as parents mean well- and don’t know the trips we are placing on our children by not accepting what is, when it is the best. Don’t stop trying- but it is peace within your soul that is most important and KNOWING that you have, for you, done the best for you that you could do!
Truth is, oft times parents don’t really know much about parenting. Some of the ideas they have are right and others are wrong still others are correct but applied terribly.
Also IMHO some of parenting is difficult on a really subtle level. Sometimes it seems to me that instilling a constant sense of inadequacy (and therefore a constant need to achieve) in a child really does allow them to maximize their potential for success (of a kind) but at the same time restricts them from enjoying their success (since it is always not ‘enough’). Some parents may choose this path as a ‘lesser of two evils’ others out of laziness (Since the ‘hard’ path is to compare your children to objective standards).
Furthermore all this is complicated by the fact that even when talking about very, very simple kinds of ’success’ – say test scores. People can be very clued out as to what constitutes ‘better’. For example if you came home with a test score of 80% and your parents told you to try harder then on your next test you got an 84% and they were happy. After that you got an 82% and were told “You can do better”.
Truth is statistically these are likely all the same level of success. Every test and measure on earth has an ‘error’ associated with it. Which means that the same person taking a test of roughly the same difficulty twice – isn’t guaranteed to get the same mark. Only marks “around” some central value. As a rule of thumb it’s probably a good idea to think of most academic tests as having an error of +/- 5%.
Which means that a score of 80 is about the same as a score of 76%-84%. Which also means 84 isn’t ‘better’ than 82% and 80% wasn’t worse than either score.
So what’s all this mean? Try harder when your parents ask but think of it as doing your parents a favor. Not all of these measures will exist in the real world and when people in the real world *do* measure you to a standard. Understand that distinction isn’t always meaningful to anyone but the observer. So be wise about those who’s standards you do subject yourself to and which ones you take to heart.